Designer Drugs

Pharmaceutical science has progressed to the point where we can now create drug molecules purpose-built to combat specific conditions and diseases.

I'm waiting for a "Weekend Getaway" pill. You give one to each of your kids on Friday after work. They fall asleep for 60 hours, and wake up happy and obedient on Monday morning.

It should also come in a Plus version, which contains an antidiuretic so they don't wet the bed.