Ahead of schedule
With the purchase of a battery-powered plastic device, approximately 6.5" long and having a generous girth of equal measure, I've become an eBay Turquoise Star way ahead of schedule. This is great news. I may live to be a Purple Star after all.

Anilingus to the first person to correctly guess what I bought.
Offer subject to restrictions.

Anilingus to the first person to correctly guess what I bought.
Offer subject to restrictions.

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