Let's Party!

Top ten signs your 16 y.o. stepdaughter threw a party while you were upstate for the weekend:

10) Entire house smells like beer.

9) Ornamental cornucopia gourd found smashed, replaced.

8) Carton's worth of cigarette butts in lawn.

7) Fresh blood stains on carpet.

6) Keep stepping on slivers of broken beer bottles.

5) Dog sleeping in crate for first time since potty training.

4) Newly-discovered patch on living room wall.

3) Laptop, digital camera, GameBoy DS and $700 cash missing.

2) Puke and chips in hottub.

1) Neighbors saw the whole thing.